A few years ago at The Connection, we had an ethical dilemma. One of our clients wanted to set up a direct debit from his benefits to donate money to us. This raised all sorts of issues for us. We didn’t want to take what little resources he had and we didn’t want him to feel like he was obliged to us in any way. Conversely it clearly gave him a sense of dignity and power to be offering us resources.
We really didn’t want to take his money but we did arrange for him to start to volunteer with us as a way to make a contribution to our service delivery. The fact that he was thinking about how he could help us was a clear indication of his own recovery and readiness to move on. The transition from receiver to giver was an empowering moment for him and that gave him and us great satisfaction.
As an alternative to this, we often receive calls from companies, or individuals, who have things they would like to offer us. This has included over time: office furniture, a room full of very small sized women’s sportswear and, famously, a left hand drive mobile kitchen which we needed to retrieve from France. In these situations is the person really giving, or are we doing them a favour by providing an alternative to land fill?
When St Martin gave his cloak away, it was the thing that alleviated the beggar’s vulnerability at that time. It was exactly the right gift at exactly the right time. With so many varied calls on our resources, there is so much satisfaction in getting the gift right. We all know the joy of getting someone something they really wanted and the disappointment of getting it wrong. By far the best givers are the people who understand what is needed and respond. St Martin gave half of his cloak to a naked beggar, not a left hand drive catering van!
Pam Orchard
